Reverse, Reverse, Slide to the Left…Rewinding the Sexual Revolution: Can We Place Some Value on Sex Again, Please?

Reprinted.  Latest article over at Madame Noire.
Source: Madame Noire

Can We Reverse The Sexual Revolution? Please.

As the first quarter of 2012 wraps up,  I find myself reflecting on the yearʼs progress thus far and I am reminded of the bizarre way this year started for me. While at a friendʼs house ringing in this new year with other young professionals, I had a rather disturbing encounter with one of the other partygoers. He was obviously enjoying the libations a bit more than perhaps he should have. Heʼd ventured too far into my personal space on a couple of occasions already that night and he continued to throw glances my way that hinted at the fact that he was not directing wholesome thoughts toward me.

After some time, he walked over calmly and said simply, “I really want to f**k you.” Without hesitation, he proceeded to pull money out of his pocket and asked, “Will this interest you?” When I told him that it certainly would not, he decided the best course of action would be to up the ante, and to do so again until he figured heʼd reach an amount that would yield a yes. He went as high as the money in his pocket would allow and assured that what wasn’t in his pocket, was definitely in the bank. I remained calm as I told him that his actions were extremely disrespectful and that he should stop talking, immediately, and walk away, swiftly.

Men say crazy things to me all of the time, but what struck me most about the encounter with this man is how comfortable he was with treating me like a prostitute. There was no awkwardness or embarrassment present in his speech; he spoke with ease. We live in a society where sex is everywhere. It is in the images we view on television; itʼs in the lyrics of the music we consume daily; itʼs plastered throughout advertisements for the food we eat to the products we buy. Sex is no longer this intimate thing secretly confined in the boudoirs of lovers. It is so prevalent that men deem it appropriate to proposition women in small gatherings of friends apparently.

It is clear that few people continue to revere sex as something sacred to be shared between two people who love or at least really care for each other. It is completely permissible to engage in casual sex with people who aren’t quite lovers and are quite nary friends. Itʼs totally fine to discuss oneʼs sexcapades in public. Itʼs common behavior to laud men for their perceived sexual prowess and to applaud women who are in control of their sexuality and are liberated in the bedroom. It is certain; we no longer live in a sexually repressed society, and this progress can be looked at in both a good and bad way. The way men and women handle each other these days suggests that all we are to each other is cu*ts and co*ks.

There are undoubtedly some great things that have come from the liberation that the sexual revolution brought about. But since then, weʼve gone too far left of right. When Iʼm treated like a hooker at a friendʼs house, I canʼt help but ponder—in an age when it is so acceptable to publicly reduce men and women to objects of sexual pleasure (by both men and women alike)—how do we work our way back to something more decent?

While everybody seems to be in the business of selling sex, perhaps we should be having more candid conversations about its return policy. I’m just saying.

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