What About Your Friends, Will They Stand Their Ground, Will They Let You Down Again…Friend-Ventory: A Good Girlfriend Is Like A Good Pair of Shoes

Reprinted.  Check out my latest post at Madame Noire.  Paying homage to my girls and every girl’s best friend…shoes.

Source: blog.convertible-heels.com

I’ve heard it said that diamonds are a girl’s best friend. While I can’t knock the allure of cut clarity, color and carats, I can and WILL say that my heart sides with a deeper Marilyn Monroe quote: “Give a girl the right pair of shoes, and she can conquer the world!” There are two things that a woman can never possibly have too many of…really great girlfriends and shoes, of course. In my book, shoes are just like friends; they support you or take you down. I promise that every “friend” you have can be described in terms of shoes, and with that, ladies, I submit that every now and again it’s simply good business to do friend-ventory: To open your (proverbial) closet and check out your shoe game.

Source: Old Navy
Flip Flops

There are definitely girlfriends who are just like flip flops. They are no fuss, no muss. You can be completely exposed, yet so comfortable when they are around. They are not pretentious and don’t require you to be fancy–nor do they judge. Like flip flops, they represent T-shirt and jeans kind of comfort.

Source: workchic.com

Loafers

Who doesn’t love a laid back loafer? While ladies love to lounge around fancy free in flip flops, there are some situations that just don’t allow it. It’s always nice to slip on a comfortable flat when this is the case. Some friends are like loafers: they just feel right. You may not bare your soul to your loafer friends, but you are totally comfortable around them. They are easygoing and they just don’t sweat the small stuff. Life is simple around them and refreshingly free from drama. Loafers are definitely a must have.

Source: coutureinthecity.com

Pumps

Every woman needs a good pair of pumps. There are girlfriends who are as classic as this staple of a shoe. They are versatile. A pump friend is one who can run in your professional circles but who you can dress down and mix with the casual crowd as well. Pumps can be a bit conservative at times, but they are certainly consistent, reliable, and—in this case—prudent. This is the girlfriend whose opinion really matters to you. She doesn’t always tell you what you want to hear; she tells you what you need to hear.

Source: replicachristianlouboutinus.com

  

 Animal Print Shoes

Not everyone can get with and get away with animal print. It definitely clashes with a lot of the things in your closet and you, for sure, can’t wear it everywhere! But, when you luck out and find an animal print shoe that works, you keep it around for as long as you can. There are girlfriends who are just like this. They don’t mix well with all of your friends and there are places that you don’t want to take them and they don’t want to go. These chicks are wild and crazy unbridled fun. They define themselves and bend all the rules and encourage you to do the same. When you’re with them, you have an edge that doesn’t come out as easily with your other friends. Just like an animal print shoe turns an otherwise bland outfit into a statement, this friend is known to turn mundane girls’ night out activities into epic experiences.

Source: bootsaholic.com

Boots

There is nothing like a great boot. Boots protect a woman’s delicate feet and elevate her style. There are girlfriends who do similar work. They are the ones who are fiercely loyal, unwavering friends. They are supportive and protective. No one can say anything negative about you without this kind of friend coming to the rescue. These friends make you look and feel good. They don’t steer you in the wrong direction; they make sure you put your best foot forward.

These are the friends that you can count on for the long haul. When things get tough, they are there. Everybody loves the sunshine, but your boot friends have your back all winter long.

Source: fashion-infatuation.com
 Stilettos

Now women, and men I may add, love stilettos. They are a delight to the eye. We all agree they look so good, but we should all agree that they hurt so bad! And while a woman admits that the pain can be as high as the heel, she continues to buy them because she likes the image they project. You walk differently in these shoes because one misstep could leave you flat on your face. Ladies, know your stiletto friends. They are the “me I’m supa fly, supa dupa fly” members of the team. These women are divas in every sense of the word, from appearance to attitude. It’s about the glitz and the glamor with them all the time. There is no laid back with them, and when these friends are around, you’re definitely fancy! Like stilettos, you love what they do for your appearance, but you know they aren’t a practical choice. This type is good for going out, but don’t be fooled into thinking they are an every day option. You instantly feel fierce when you put stilettos on, but you wear them too long and all you’ll feel is pain. Message.

*Cues music.* “Friends, how many of us have them? Friends, ones you can depend on.” So ladies, what’s in your closet?

‘Cuz You A Bugaboo. You Buggin’ What? You Buggin’ Who? You Buggin’ Me and Don’t You See It Ain’t Cool…Is Honesty the Best Policy: How to Get Rid of a Way Too Persistent Suitor

Reprinted.  Latest article over at Madame Noire.
Source: madamenoire.com

As the seasons change and the weather becomes nicer, Iʼm trying to prepare myself for all of the foolishness that spring and summer will certainly bring. I donʼt know what it is about the sunshine, but it seems to give men a boost of confidence, assertiveness and outright audacity that doesn’t always exist in winter months. Is it me, or are the pick-up lines and tactics that men use to gain the attention of women far more exuberant and bold when itʼs hot!? And not only are men more creative, they are far more persistent when the sunʼs out. Iʼm from Chicago, and winter is no joke. No man wants to stand in the bitter cold for long trying to convince you to take his number, but that same man will follow you down the block until he wears you down when he can leave that coat in the closet.

The sun is shining stronger and longer these days and you should expect men (and ladies too) to be on the prowl. A simple walk down the street can be exhausting when youʼre a woman. Street harassment is real people! You WILL hear “Aye yo, shawty!” Miss lady. Sweetheart. Lil mama, and all of the other phrases and terms by which men choose to refer to women. Sometimes a quick no thank you will do when trying to dissuade eager suitors, but there are some men who are tenacious and donʼt seem to take no for an answer. If youʼre like I once was, you donʼt want to hurt anyoneʼs feelings so you try to find ways to nicely nudge men in the opposite direction. But let me just tell you, itʼs never a good idea to tell a man anything that you donʼt mean. If you arenʼt interested, say that and keep it moving. You may end up in undesirable situations otherwise.

I find that some men have a comeback for every variation of no thank you that exists: You: “I have a boyfriend.” Suitor: “What your man doesnʼt know wonʼt hurt him.” You: “Iʼm sorry, but itʼs not a good time.” Suitor: “Well take my number until the right time rolls around.” And this charade could go on forever. It came to me one day that what most men today donʼt want to deal with is an overly religious, holier-than-thou kind of girl. Most men think this girl keeps her goodies to herself and they promptly walk—sometimes run—in the opposite direction. So I had the grand idea to talk excessively about Jesus when hyper-persistent men who I was not interested in approached me. That is until I met a man who halted this foolish habit with one action.

He seemed like a nice guy, but I simply wasnʼt interested. He wanted to buy me dinner and whenever I tried to nicely decline, heʼd try to be more convincing. So I decided to pull out my fool-proof deterrent: “You know, hereʼs the thing. Itʼs all about Jesus these days for me. Iʼm really working on my relationship with God. I just want to be closer to Him. I love Jesus.” In my mind, Iʼm thinking 5,4,3,2…gone. But surprisingly, he was still standing there, and he hit me with the following: “Yeah, my relationship with God is important to me too.” What!? It was apparent that this one had come to the field to play and hardball was obviously his game of choice. When he continued to not take no for an answer, I foolishly decided to kick it up a notch. I told the gentleman that I wasn’t giving him my number but, if he came to my church, I would have dinner with him. I told him the name of the small church I attended at the time and casually told him that it was on the corner of such and such. I knew I wouldnʼt see him again.

Fast forward. Itʼs a lovely, ordinary Sunday morning. Iʼm at church, where I always am on Sundays, teaching Sunday School, what I always do on Sundays. I end my class with the tots, grab my things and head to the sanctuary. A girlfriend, who happened to witness my exchange with persistent gentleman number one, meets me at the door. “Your friendʼs here,” she says. When I ask her who she’s talking about, she say’s again, “Your friend.”

Thatʼs right. Mister Man had taken me at my word and not only would he attend Sunday service, but he for some reason came to Sunday School! And I assure you he was hungry and ready for dinner when it was all over.

Do not, I repeat, do NOT tell a man anything you donʼt mean just to get him to leave you alone. Honesty really is the best policy, but you have to be nice and honest at the same time. As the weather gets warmer and warmer and men become as persistent and brazen as the summer sun, find a better way than the younger version of myself, and politely decline every suitor you are not interested in.

I know I may be in the minority when it comes to finding oneself in this particular situation, but certainly youʼve said some things you regret as well to get a guy off your back. Are there any times when you should have said no thank you and walked away, but you said something that came back to bite you in the behind instead?